Help?
by Food Fight
Summary: Ron needs some help asking Hermionie out. Can anyone help this poor soul? Complete.
1. Can you help me?

This is, like a one minute idea. Enjoy!

_**HARRY JAMES POTTER**_

"Dude, no." said Harry, clearly exasperated.

"Aww, come on Harry. Please!" pleaded Ron.

"Okay, listen Ron. If you wanna ask out Hermione, you gotta do it yourself."

"But, you said that--"

"I know. I said that I would help you with 'Moine, not ask her out for you!"

"Aw, dude, you gotta help me!"

"Sorry, no can do." Harry said, and left.

"You say I'm your best friend", Ron grumbled.

_**RUBEUS HAGRID**_

"Yo, Hagrid! Wad up?"

"Hey, Ron! What are yeh doin' here?"

"Oh, nothing. Just wanted to ask you something…"

"Oh, no. Harry warned meh 'bout yeh. Said you be comin'!"

"But….."

"No, Ron. Yeh gotta be a man!"

"OK, fine. Be that way!"

_**ALBUS PERCIVAL BRAIN MERLIN DUMBLEDORE**_

"Oi! Dumble-Bee! I need you!"

Dumbledore imwardly groaned, and put on a grin before turning to Ron.

"Ah, young Ronald! Long time no see, eh mate?"

"Yeah, I actually wanted to ask you…"

"NO!!" and he ran away, yelling at random peeps who just wanted to get to dinner.

_**DRACO LUCIOUS MALFOY**_

"Hey, draco! Wad up dawg?"

"What the heck, Weasley King!?"

"Nothing, can't a dude come to a, uh, other dude to, like, chill?"

"No, that 'dude' can't. Get away from me, you nasty blood traiter!"

"Okay, but first you gotta…"

"Urg, no, I'm not going to ask stupid Granger out to a stupid date because your too stupidly shy and can't ask stupid Granger your stupid self!"

"Man, he needs some Sirius chilling…"

_**SEVERUS "I HATE MUDBLOODS BUT I LOVE LILY PETUNIA EVENS OR SHOULD I SAY LILY PETUNIA EVENS POTTER (BY THE WAY, JAMES HAROLD POTTER WAS AND STILL IS A JERK WHO IS AN ARROGANT,STUCK UP, WORSHIPPED PIG)" SNAPE  
**_

"Hey Professer Snape? Can I ask you a question?"

"Dude, how many times do I have to ask you to call me Professer Dude? You're, like, Siriusly cramping my style!"

"Okay, fine 'Professer Dude' , can you ask…hey, where'd he go?"


	2. Unexpected Peeps

**Professor "Yoda" Flitwick**

"Hey, Professor!"

"Ah, you finally took me up on my offer to give you intense nightly tutoring!" 

"_No_. Can you ask out Hermione Granger for me? Please, please, please, please, ect. ?"

"No. Why in Merlin's buttons would I do that?"

"Because you wuv me?"

"Yeah. I sure do. And He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named has no nose."

"He doesn't!"

**Captain Jack Sparrow**

"How'd I get here? I thought I was looking for some rum… oh! An undead monkey!"

"I'm not a monkey you dimwit. If you say yes to my question you can be escorted to that portal there that I have opened."

"Yeah. You're an UNDEAD monkey. Sure, why not. By the way, you got any rum?"

"No. Now will you--"

"I'm in a portal! Whee!"

And he was gone.

**Random Dude Brewing a Potion**

"**Hello there. I have a very simple yes or no question to ask you."**

"**I see your future, young 'un you will grow old and die alone in this cruel, unfriendly world. And you will never have enough rum!"**

"**Oo-kay? You're not right for the job."**

"**yessssssssss" said the dude after he was gone.**


	3. I Love Her

**Ginny Weasley**

"Hey, Gin!"

"Uh oh… HELP ME SOMEBODY PLEASE!"

"Ginny! Ginny! Stop running away! You get right back here!"

"What? What could you possibly want? Insert sarcasm here!"

"You are great friends with 'Mione, right?"

"Sigh. Yes Ron. Yes I am. Why would you _ever_ want to know?"

"Well, I was won- wait. Did you just say sigh."

"Yes. Now get on with it."

"I was wondering if you could ask her on a date for me?"

"Did you ask Harry?"

"Yeah."

"Dumbledore?"

"Mm-hm."

"Snape?"

"Yep."

"Jack Sparrow?"

"Yes, Ginny. Yes! I am a desperate, hopeless guy with a sorry excuse of a backbone. I can't even ask the love of my life out on a date! Just say it! Say it GINNY! TELL ME I'M LIKE A HOBO!"

"I wasn't going to say that at all. But… you really _love _her?"

"Yeah. What if she rejects me? I just… I just can't face that?"

That was the last thing Hermione Granger heard before she ran to her dormitory in tears.

**_AN: I am so sorry it took me so long! I had taken a reaaaally long break... but I think I am back now! Thank you to my nine awesome reviewers, and their constructive words! Please keep on reviewing, and I hope to get back on track soon. ~Food_**


End file.
